Down the garden path.

I’m sitting writing this on the verandah of my new little home. I’m surrounded by the sounds of birds, insects, the soft rumbling of traffic and general clatter of life. When I came to Bali I had the idea of the home that I’d live in, firmly created in my head – with the intention that this would manifest itself into my reality. On the day in which I found myself sitting on the platform in the middle of the rice paddies, I realized that while it is important not to settle for less than you desire, it is equally important to be open to what the universe offers you, as maybe, just maybe, what you desire and what you need are two quite different things.

The previous afternoon I had turned down a home which was in my budget but neither had a rice field in sight, nor any access to the internet. As I rambled through the rice paddies that day, I realized that if I was living in and immersed in them, I probably would not be rambling, and perhaps I would not find the small glories I was stumbling upon now. Perhaps, I would be content to sit in my little house in the rice paddies, too comfortable to move or explore beyond. And, did I really need easy access to internet? Already my mail-checking habits were starting to annoy me, perhaps distance from this would also be a good thing. Nearly every little café has access to wifi, and so what a delightful excuse to go and hunt out new places to sit and be, drink my cups of tea and do my ‘internet stuff’.

So I came and looked at this little house, nestled in the bottom of a garden of a Balinese family compound, surrounded by beautiful bushes and trees. I fell in love pretty quickly, the family charmed me with their kindness and smiles and the cottage felt old, simple and quaint. Even though the family would prefer long term rentals, I have signed a one month lease (a hand-written contract on a page torn out from an exercise book) because Gustut, the father (and the only one who can really speak English) told me that they were happy to have me, as for them, I am a gift from God. And they too are a gift from God for me!

 I moved in on Saturday, the whole of the last week I spent in my little self-imposed retreat, gathering strength and grounding for my inward journey onwards, vacillating between boredom, loneliness and extreme joy at being where I was. So arriving at my new home was a wonderful experience for me, walking down the little path reminds me of when I was a little girl and used to head down to my wendy-house at the bottom of the garden after school. I have arrived at my new little home, a place where I can grow, be quiet and find myself in my joyful solitude. I feel so absolutely blessed. The Balinese family have welcomed me in, laid a bowl of flowers out on the table and the mother includes my home in her nightly Balinese ceremonies, making me feel all the more seen and safe.

 I have spent a good few hours in the last couple of days cleaning, as the previous tenant’s cleaning habits and mine don’t seem to match up. Yet, I’m grateful for this process too – it’s like I’m making my own space and claiming my own magic. I am very thankful to her as she has left all her kitchen things for me to use, as well as her books, bed and musical instruments. I have come into a fully kitted-out home (albeit a little on the dirty side!) a real joy for a girl who has arrived only with a very heavy backpack and no frying pan. I have never considered myself terribly musical, but last night I enjoyed the space and quiet of finding my own rhythm as I sit on my little verandah, looking out into the garden and drum to the beating of my heart.