Present Moments, Friends and Family Ceremonies

Another magical week in Bali has flown by, right past Friday, Saturday and Sunday and so it is only now on Monday morning that I can sit and write my blog. I spent the whole of last week trying to let go of the plans in my head and live moment by moment. What do I feel like doing right now? Being able to ask this question is an incredible blessing as it is not often that one can experience this kind of spontaneity in ‘real’ life – plans need to be made if you hope to fit in all that you need to do. I think it’s taken me the seven weeks I have been here to really understand that right now, I don’t need to do a thing except exactly what I feel is right, right now. What bliss!

This week has also shown me what absolutely beautiful friendships I have made in the last seven weeks. Since I have been here I have made good, soul-filling, soul-connecting friendships with some awesome women. I spent Sunday late afternoon and evening with Colleen, we had supper and watched the sunset and then went along to a steam-room and sauna ‘party’. After having a rather intense session in the steam-room (the Thai herbs made me feel like I was sitting in a cup of tea) I sat for hours and watched the bonfire flicker and warm my heart, feasting on cup after cup of delicious herbal tea. On Tuesday Laura and I started with lunch and continued to hang out until 7pm, talking and connecting and just being. I visited Courtney at her beautiful villa on Wednesday and spent the afternoon there, swimming in the most amazing pool, playing on her internet, chatting and drinking cups of ‘neem’ tea (good for the skin apparently!). We ended off the special day with a delicious dinner of wine and basil pesto gnocchi. Small luxuries!

On Friday evening I called ‘the delightful lady’, Dana, to see what she was up to. We were both sitting at home alone and so I went along to her place in the rice paddies, we ate pizza and cookies and chatted away until 10pm. We also sipped at cups of Balinese rice wine – Arak – which she diluted with water, “otherwise it’s like drinking a shot of vodka – you have to be careful!” 

When I began my journey I had hoped that in the process of ‘finding myself’ I would also find some special people to connect with. This wish has been abundantly manifested, these glorious souls literally bumped into my path and I am absolutely convinced that it’s all meant to be.

On Thursday morning myself, Dana and another of her friends, jumped on our scooters and headed off towards Tirta Empul, a sacred water temple. The whole experience was pretty awesome and most of all I just LOVED the journey. We went up and down some pretty steep hills and my scooter skills were seriously tested! The scenery was exquisite and it was difficult to balance the desire to look about me in awe and focus on the road. Once again my heart bloomed with the possibilities my scooter was lending me, there’s so much of the world to experience and discover! We arrived at the temple early, the ticket office wasn’t even open so we wandered in by ourselves. Dana and I jumped into the water to receive our water cleansing and blessings, we only had an inkling of the rituals one must do and so pretty much did what we felt was right. I kept praying that the Gods and Goddesses would see the sincerity of my actions rather than their accuracy! I think it turned out ok as no lightning bolt came down! It was a pretty awesome experience and the water was refreshing and clean… and blessed! We walked around the site and chatted for a little, and then headed back to Ubud, but not before the ticket lady called us over to pay for our entry!

Friday morning arrived and there was a flurry of activity in my compound. There were suddenly all these extra bodies busily preparing food and ceremony offerings. The family had tripled! I promised that in the afternoon I would return and enjoy a meal of the food they were preparing together. I arrived home late in the afternoon, pretty exhausted from my day of activities and sat in the usual family gathering place while Jeru brought me my little feast. I ate more meat than I have eaten for a while…chicken, pork and fish! My system can handle these gifts given with love. After eating my meal I simply sat and watched as the family continued to prepare for the next day’s ceremony in the family temple. I couldn’t drag myself away. Perhaps it was the beauty of the end of the day, or perhaps it was simply the need to just be with a family, as they worked and chatted together. There’s something peaceful in being part of a world and yet not part of it at all, as I couldn't understand what everyone was saying but I could pick up on gestures and facial expressions – smiles and shaking of heads! I laughed as decorations were put up and then taken down again and swopped around when the grandfather pointed out that they were in the wrong place. Gusde the teenage son helped for a while until he got bored with the process and moved away, only to have his hard work taken down and done properly by his aunt. I was roped in for a while until I too, moved away to the sanctuary of my cottage! Not unlike Gusde!

The next morning I returned from yoga and dressed in my borrowed kebaya, sarong and scarf. I was also going to join the ceremony which was all in aid of Saraswati Day, the Goddess of Knowledge. The ceremony in this family was bigger than usual as Saraswati Day coincidently fell onto the same day as the ancestor ceremony in the family temple. The mangku (priest) was due to arrive at 11am to proceed with the ceremonies, yet he’s a busy mangku and so only arrived at 1pm. I fought the western urge to go do ‘better things’ with my time as we waited, and I so I made myself to do what I actually wanted, which was to sit with the family for those two hours chatting in broken English and Bahasa. It was wonderful to just enjoy being part of the process. After the priest arrived so did all the other family members and soon there was a crowd of ceremony participants in the temple and onlookers outside. I sat and watched the proceeds, enjoying the chanting and the bell dinging. It was hot and I was getting hungry, but I still felt blessed to be there. Once again I was called upon and I became part of the blessing party as we went around to all the little temples in the big temple as well as the ones in the property, each off us having some part to play in the blessing ritual. I had to splash two splashes of vinegar (I think that’s what it was) when Gustut’s sister gave me the signal – I'm pretty sure I got it wrong, but once again the sincerity of the action might outweigh the correctness!

The temple. Gustut and Gusde trying out my sunglasses. Me! A beautiful 'living' temple. Dayu and Jeru waiting for the Mangku.

The temple all ready. The Mangku has arrived and the ceremony is about to start. Collecting the different offerings during the ceremony. A ritual (I'm not sure what was happening!).

The Mangku at work - he has such a nice kind face!

The ceremony ended with each of us getting blessings and we participated in a similar ritual to the one I was part of in Kintamani. Jeru sat beside me, giving me the right flowers to hold up in prayer at the right time, showing me how to swirl my hands through the smoke of the incense before lifting them up in prayer. Once again I enjoyed watching the ‘everydayness’ of it all. As the priest chanted people chatted and little children weaved in and out. One of Gustut’s nephews was looking so cute in his ceremonial dress while dragging a Spiderman balloon behind him, getting in the way of our blessing team as we made our blessing rounds! I was looking forward to the feast ahead, but before that I was taken by Gustut’s sister to the neighbour’s compound where I enjoyed another session of blessings similar to the ones we received in ‘our’ temple. When it was finally time to eat I was urged to pile my plate high with rice, fish satays, spicey sambals, bebek (duck) stew and some other kind of ayam (chicken) dish. I politely declined the ‘pig’ this time. We ate with our hands and I suddenly became a bit self-conscious! Was I eating with my hands in the polite way?! Gustut reminded me that I should wash my hands with soap after eating with them, otherwise the rats will come in the night to nibble my fingers, thinking they’re food. A glorious prospect.

Gustut's family. Spiderman at the ceremony. Me post-ceremony - flowers and rice attached!

Once again I have been touched by the absolute devotion of the Balinese as well as the way the family invited me into their space and lives, looking after me every step of the way. They fully accepted me into their special ceremony and I was touched when Gustut assured me that he was proud to see me sitting there with his family. I did not imagine these kinds of experiences on my journey, and yet it is these things which are contributing so greatly to the love that I feel here.